Unconditional Love…

This coming weekend is Mother’s Day and it’s the second year in a row that we will have to celebrate this special day in a lockdown state. When you stop to reflect on this day and other special days in your life these past few years, you really appreciate what we once had.

Putting that aside for a minute and reflecting on Mother’s Day and the true meaning of this day other than giving flowers…. you should stop and reflect on your mother and the true sacrifices that they have made for all of us. Yes, everyone has a different story or reasons to celebrate their mother’s and the true joy that they have all brought us in one way or another. But the one thing that sticks in my gut is that your mother is the only one that gives you …Unconditional Love.

What do l mean by this statement…?

We all can relate to having someone special in our lives, wives, girlfriend, companions and close friends that may show you love and affection and a caring intention to you, and l will be the first to say that these affections are all good and have a special place in our hearts and lives. But when things go wrong or there is some sort of turbulence in your life, you really can see who continues to be by your side. In many cases these relationships can get scared and, in some cases, you may get judged by whatever you may be going through …. The one person that ultimately would tell you the way it is, but still continue to love you is yes…your mother.

On a personal note, my mother is no longer on this earth, but l know that she is still in my life and in a corny way still looking after me and yes giving me guidance. When my mother was alive, l would speak to her every day and in most cases twice a day with no judgment or taking sides over my personal decisions whether good, bad or indifferent. Knowing that l would be able to pick up the phone or drop in to see her any time that l needed to make some sort of decision or just chatting about my day…her thought, advice and wisdom were always there for me whether l wanted to hear them or not. 

Unconditional love is not and should not be an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Even when you love someone wholeheartedly and accept them for who they are, healthy boundaries are essential. Unconditional love means that you love someone regardless of circumstances, but not regardless of how they treat you. Sometimes loving someone also requires making tough decisions and letting them go. Some argue that unconditional love is simply what we should know as love. It doesn’t get bought. It doesn’t owe you anything. It doesn’t have to be proven. It’s not selfish or at the mercy of circumstance.

Each one of us may have our own definition of unconditional love, but for this piece my focus is around the true love that a mother gives, and one really cannot measure the value in that until it no longer is there. If your mother is still in your life, take advantage of those precious moments with her and this may sound like a cliché, but value your time with her because it will end at some point and you will regret not spending more time with her. I still to this day have regrets and l wish that l had spent more personal time with my mother in her later years.

Over time, regrets can be a heavy burden to take because it will start to weigh on you and you will second guess yourself as should you have done things differently when it comes to spending more time with your mother. Take it from me, you will not regret it one bit.

While you may take it for granted if your mother is still with us, making some time is something that you will not regret. Take 10 minutes a week if you are not into a regular routine, you will not regret my advice to you.

Such a sense of profound love comes when we first forgive and accept ourselves for all our limiting beliefs, mistakes, judgements and misunderstandings and apply the unconditional to us personally. We recognize our self-worth, value our talents, and allow ourselves to be who we are rather than what we think others wish us to be. In turn, we naturally understand those around us and extend our helping hand without condition, judgement or expectation. We see ourselves in the reflection of another and know that everyone deserves to love and be loved without condition. Whether you speak with your mother or something may have come between the of two you, put it behind you and make a menses with your mother, because she will always have that unconditional love for you.

Mother’s Day has endured. It serves now, as it originally did, to recognize the contributions of women. Mother’s Day, like the job of mothering, is varied and diverse. Perhaps that’s only appropriate for a day honoring the multiple ways women find to nurture their families, and the ways in which so many have nurtured their communities, their countries, and the larger world.

Mother’s Day has long been known as the day when we show love and gratitude to the women who raised us, take this day seriously without the commercialism that society has put on it and respect you mother each and every day with respect and gratefulness.

I think l have made my point about your mother and the unconditional love that only she can give you and the time that sharing with her is priceless. Money or any other form of material things cannot replace the simple task of picking up you cell and telling her that you love her.

My biggest regret is that while my mother was alive, l never told her how much l loved her…maybe that was a macho thing, l really don’t know, but l totally regret not telling my mother l love her enough.

Better late than never…. Mom, I Love You

Happy Mother’s Day

Vincent Black/MS