Because we’re men

I don’t know what the parameters for today’s stereotypical man are, what I do know is that they’ve changed.  For the last few decades, men have been targeted by the beauty industry almost as much as women have.  When I say beauty, I’m including the physical fitness sector, that plays more to the way you look in the mirror than necessarily to improve one’s health.  These days, physical beauty, (however you may define it), and good physical health have been linked to better mental health.  There is a large amount of focus on men’s mental health these days, along with the fact that many men tend to keep feelings, and symptoms, even physical ones, to themselves.   

Men keeping things to themselves is what I call typical, for a guy.  I grew up seeing it firsthand, watching it in films and on TV, and I saw it in myself, and the spiffing up was reserved for when we had a date, or interest in getting one. That’s what guys did, or do.  Why is this? I have no theory, except to suggest that changes in behavior can be seen relatively quickly, changes in instincts take much longer.  Through science, (and in some parts of the world today), we know that men have mostly been the hunters and protectors.  Obviously, life is much different today in most of the world.  The strong male protector doesn’t seem to be even socially acceptable, especially when you consider the strides toward equality that women have taken.  But a lot of us guys still have these instincts in our genes, albeit I don’t have urges to throw my wife over my shoulder; our natural instincts have been honed by the acquisition of knowledge and worldly experience.  We think differently now, and many men might be feeling a little out of place in the modern world. Maybe these muted, but present instincts are clashing with today’s reality, causing mental disturbances like anxiety.  Then there’s the concern that we aren’t open enough about feelings and other personal uncertainties.  Instinctively, men don’t want to show weakness, again an old natural instinct due to being the protector, or warrior of old.  As humans, we can evolve at great speed, but the primordial part of our brain is more chill; nature mulls things over pretty good before considering any tweaks, or like in this case, dropping the unnecessary, although I must say that I don’t think Mother Nature plans on completely stripping our mojo from us.  She’s not an extremist.

What’s factual is that many men suffer because of the way they think.  With us it’s, “let’s see if it goes away”, or just try and ignore it all together.  That seemed to work for a very long time, but it’s looking like modern life is taking an extra toll on everyone, and for men who think that they can overcome it all on their own, it’s a dangerous game, and the evidence is there almost every day.  Just look at how many male celebrities die due to overdoses from crap that is supposed to make you better.  Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention Movember, which is the reason I wrote this.  It’s supposed to be a yearly movement to raise awareness about men’s mental health, and also testicular and prostate cancer.  Dudes dawn stashes for the month of November, to show their support and to keep people talking about the issues.  For women, participation can come in other forms, like sharing the links and promoting dialogue, which can be not only a great help, but a great catalyst to getting men to open up. 

Fiquem bem,

Raul Freitas/MS