Vincent Black

The modern family… according to whom?

 

family - milenio stadium

 

What constitutes a family and what should it look like?

These two questions have never been asked repeatedly over the past few years because the media has invaded us with all kinds of possibilities about what the modern new family should look like. l never questioned what a family should look like or who would make up a family unit.

Many of us never questioned the family concept and its makeup until more recently because of all the different relationship possibilities. Single parenting is one area that has picked up steam with many opting to raise children as a single parent and enjoying the experience. The artificial insemination route is one that is very popular with couples who cannot conceive a child. This form of pregnancy has become popular with single parents because matching up with a partner has become complicated and costly.

I personally have a good friend who conceived a child by herself as a single parent with great joy and family support around her. And speaking with her about the experience, she would not have done anything differently.
Parenting by same sex couples has become much more accessible and acceptable by society. Modern-day same sex couples are much more common and visible. I have a friend that is very successful in business and he and his partner have adopted two boys. The parents are incredible human beings and are doing an amazing job raising these two children.

This family unit whether its two male parents or two female parents adopting a child or two has become normal in today’s modern world. This family unit in the past was not one that was out-front and visible rather hidden and never spoken about if it existed in the past. Same sex parenting today is very much accepted.

Family acceptance is essential when it comes to the health and well-being of young people who are transgender, gender non-binary or gender diverse. Yet many people don’t understand what it means to be transgender, so some parents struggle at first and have questions about how best to support their children. When a person is transgender, their gender identity, the sense of gender that every person knows inside, or gender expression is different from their sex at birth. At some point in their lives-and increasingly in their youth – transgender people decide they must live their lives as the gender they know themselves to be. For example, a transgender woman grows up knowing that she’s a girl, even though she was born and raised as a boy – and often transitions to live as the gender she’s always known herself to be.

Research shows that when transgender youth are loved and supported by their families, they are able to thrive. But when parents reject a transgender child or try to force them to reject the gender their child knows themselves to be, it can contribute to depression, suicidal behavior and other negative health outcomes.
It is very rewarding to love someone who is different from you in terms of race, culture, identity, religion, and more. When we are open with each other, we can broaden each other’s perspectives, approach the world in different ways, and even find that there is a connection in our differences. Unfortunately, interracial couples can still experience difficulties at times by virtue of the fact that racism exists in our society on a deep level. Ideally, love should have no bounds in this regard. However, in reality, other people may harbor negativity or judgment about an interracial couple. Partners in an interracial marriage must take on these issues together while maintaining empathy and support for each other’s experiences. Interracial couples may also reach conflicts when asserting their values if they differ from each other based on racial or cultural identity. There are strategies to help you better handle what comes your way when you are in an interracial marriage.

On a personal note, one of my daughters is engaged to be married to someone that is not white and when my daughter started to date him, l took note of it and was somewhat concerned about it. My initial thoughts were that it was going to just be a phase in her life and that she would move on. Well, that is obviously not the case because they are scheduled to be married this year. My initial feelings were brought on by others around me asking questions about her relationship hoping for some sort of a reaction from me. In some cases, l felt that the person asking the question was just being a hypocrite and not realizing the depth of this relationship. Keeping an open mind to the relationship was the start for me and also educating myself on the different cultures and traditions of others.

My daughter’s new relationship is something that I personally am comfortable with, because the character of the person whether female or male is the biggest quality that one needs to look at first. In my case, I’ve gotten to know him, and his family and they are good people. Isn’t that what we are looking for, just being a good person and caring for one another through the good times and bad. The character and not the color or the gender is the quality that should be judged…. it’s the person and their attributes that need to stand on its own.
The most challenging aspect of interracial marriage is the attitude of other people and how they judge. Often they can be very negative.

Vince Nigro/MS

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