Vincent Black

Door #1, door #2 or door #3… Male, Female, Transgender…

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The other day l was in a restaurant… l had to use the restroom and when l walked in l ran into two women that were coming out as l was going in….. let me explain that it was a common restroom with private stalls. But the face to face for me was uncomfortable. This was a first for me walking into a restroom and having to encounter women and it could have been the same for them as l felt that they were also startled at that moment in time.

People who identify as transgender or transsexual are usually those who are born with either male or female anatomies but feel as though they’ve been born into the wrong body. For example, a person who identifies as transgender or transsexual may have typical female anatomy but feel like a male and seek to become male by taking hormones or electing to have sex reassignment surgeries.

People who have intersex conditions have anatomy that is not considered typically male or female. Most people with intersex conditions come to medical attention because doctors or parents notice something unusual about their bodies. In contrast, people who are transgendered have an internal experience of gender identity that is different from most people.

Many people confuse transgender and transsexual people with intersex conditions because they see two groups of people who would like to choose their own gender identity and sometimes those choices require hormonal treatments and/or surgery. These are similarities. It’s also true, albeit rare, that some people who have intersex conditions also decide to change genders at some point in their life, so some people with intersex conditions might also identify themselves as transgender or transsexual.

In spite of these similarities, these two groups should not be and cannot be thought of as one. The truth is that the vast majority of people with intersex conditions identify as male or female rather than transgender or transsexual. Thus, where all people who identify as transgender or transsexual experience problems with their gender identity, only a small portion of intersex people experience these problems.

Due to what happened to me and my confusion of the situation, l started asking questions and tried to get a clarification of the situation as it stands today and how l need to educate myself…well it seems that everyone has the right to go to the washroom without fear of violence or humiliation. Ontario’s Human Rights Code protects people on the grounds of gender identity and gender expression, which means all people have the right to access washrooms, change rooms or other gendered spaces based on their lived identity…how they choose to identify and present themselves to the world. Their birth-assigned sex has no necessary correlation to their lived identity.

If someone has an issue with a person who identifies as trans using a particular washroom or change room, it is their responsibility to remove themselves from that situation. The duty to accommodate rests in providing the trans person access to the washroom or change room of their choice. It is ideal to have at least one single-stall, gender-neutral washroom at an office environment. These facts are what you need to know moving forward when it comes to all the options that one has when using the facilities.

Transgender people express their gender identities in many different ways. Some people use their dress, behavior, and mannerisms to live as the gender that feels right for them. Some people take hormones and may have surgery to change their body, so it matches their gender identity. Some transgender people reject the traditional understanding of gender as divided between just male and female, so they identify just as transgender, or genderwueer, genderfluid, or something else.

People confuse or link gender and sexual orientation, but they are, in fact, two separate things. Gender is who you are. It is the internal feelings of being a man, women, or something outside of this traditional, binary understanding. Someone who is transgender does not feel that who they are on the inside matches their assigned gender on the outside. Sexual orientation, on the other hand, defies who you are attracted to. People identify as gay, straight, lesbian, queer, or another orientation regardless of whether they identify as male, female, or another gender.

For me in researching this topic and trying to pen this piece gave me a perspective on both sides of this issue…. l have learned quite a bit and l hope that l have clarified some of the questions you may have had.

But….
I still am not used to running into the opposite sex in the same restroom….

Vincent Black/MS

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