Too old for this

With the rise of the industrial revolution came a huge change in the paradigm that is family. I don’t think anyone, (except maybe the captains of industry), foresaw the complete transformation the family unit would suffer. Yes, there would be more money coming in, and steady, but it would change the way we think of family. When most of the population lived a rural lifestyle, the family had to deal with day-to-day life internally, meaning any situation, good or otherwise, would be handled by the family. Full-time work changed all that.

This week we’re talking about growing old and the complications of that in modern society. There’s basically no more family unit when it comes to caring for your own. We’ve become “too busy” now, our daily chores, our endless toil for income has left those who can no longer toil behind. To an extent, even children are paying that price. We naturally seek to distance ourselves from such matters, these days, because we simply don’t have the time. What a situation we’ve grown in to. That’s to say nothing about the elderly. In modern society, if you can’t produce, you get put out to pasture, only we’re not horses, or cattle. We have active minds. I’m not far from retirement age and I can tell you that in my head I’m still 35. And I’m not alone, I´ve had many a conversation with others in similar situations that feel exactly the same way. So, when an 80-year-old says they want to keep driving, if they still can, they’re not being defiant, they are speaking the truth. When you’re trying to tell your senior parent that you don’t think they should be driving, for example, you’re not seeing what they see. Of course, there are many cases where older folks need to give certain things up that they used to take for granted, but I think it’s more due to the fast-paced life of the city, which, unfortunately, where most people find themselves these days. I’ve lived in a small town, (about 1000 people), for many years now. My take on society and its inner workings is somewhat different from that of a city dweller. Here there are a couple of active cabbies that are in their eighties! We have many drivers in fact, that are quite long in the tooth, which makes sense, considering that much of the population is elderly. Yes, we have retirement homes too, lots of them and they’re still not enough, because here, the non-retired are also “too busy”, but there are still many living with family, or on their own. My mother-in-law will be 93 this month and still lives on her own. She has her meals delivered every day, through a government agency, but she still manages her life on her own. She also lives in a small town, where the neighbours are always on the look-out for any anomalies. If she doesn’t go through her usual routine, a neighbour will notice and check on her. We have two neighbours on either side of us who are 86 and 93 respectively, and we are the ones who are there for them whenever the need arises. They both work their gardens every day and share the harvest with their city family, and us. We are surrounded by active older people who, if they lived in a city, would probably be in a care home, in a comfy chair, watching TV, because, in the rat race, they have been replaced by someone younger, and there is no room for them anywhere else.

We have to take into consideration that just because they are old, they cannot think for themselves. We coax them into taking their freedoms away, and simply move on. They are not a burden, they are a source of knowledge, a lifetime of learning for themselves, not from the internet, and we owe them. They were us a few years back. Today’s old folks were all hands- on, and what they know they learned from experience. I believe that as long as they’re of sound mind, their wishes should take precedence over our needs. We have to stop treating them like old people and remember that they are our fathers, mothers, our grandparents, they are people, like the rest of us.
Fiquem bem,

Raul Freitas/MS